Among the Firsts

This is a post from my first blog. It was actually supposed to be for the school mag but because of its length, I decided against submitting it. As most of my write-ups back then, it ended up on my blog. Thought I'd post it here too. :)

Something to write about: Doggone: You’ve probably heard of the proverb, “every dog has its day”. Well, I never thought I’d ever use it for a dog . The dog, in qu...

Of Sloths and Good Intentions

Sometimes, a good deed can make you wish you weren’t inherently nice. Like the time I took my 6 year old cousin to the zoo, as a favor for my aunt. It was all perfect until the kid told his mum excitedly about Mr. Eight. “Mum, It was so cool! Mr. Eight even showed us his testicles!”  It took half an hour to explain to his dazed mother that Mr. Eight was an octopus at the zoo and another half to convince her that her son meant ‘tentacles’ and no one had taught him that word. I have a feeling my aunt still doubts that I took her son to the zoo. And if my li’l cousin ever decides to recount what was happening in the baboon pen, I might never be allowed near kids anymore. It’s not my fault the baboons were in heat that day!

During my extended blogging hiatus, I’d been looking for inspiration, something to get me writing again. It was really just an excuse to put it off for a while longer. Annoyingly enough, I found plenty of inspiration. So I stopped looking and accepted the fact that I’d become a sloth. Somehow, being a sloth was even more tiring. Who knew thinking about doing something could be as exhausting as actually doing it? I sprained my wrist just thinking about playing tennis, and I don't even play tennis! It's possible that I'd broken the sloth code by aspiring to do something new and healthy, and my body was making sure it had the perfect excuse to avoid the exercise. Kinda like what my brother did to get out of gym class. I guess it was a blessing in disguise. When I did play tennis for the first time, I smacked myself in the face with the racket's frame. It hurt to even complain. :x

'cause tomorrow never comes. :P
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-NH

Ramblings: Stupid is as Stupid Does

It's official: I'm dumb. 'til today, I did have some doubts but the last week has proved me wrong. I proved MYSELF wrong! Now, I'm convinced that if I was on the cast for ‘Dumb and Dumber’, my character would be "Dumbest". Of course that wouldn't have been possible 'cause I was only 1 when the film was released. At that age, I was the star of another show called "Growing up and Acting cute". The show was a success btw. Got excellent reviews from the only two viewers of my show, mum and dad. Then my brother came along and stole my spotlight.

If there was a time in my life that measured as my intellectual high, I guess it would be when I was seven. After that, my IQ just took a dip, and kept on dipping. Not that I had much of an IQ to begin with. Nuhuh. The only stuff I really racked my brains on was why Scooby Doo wore a dog costume (I just couldn’t accept the fact that he was really a dog), what the inside of a tap must look like to an insect, and what switched the light on and off in the fridge. That was a real puzzler. I didn’t figure it out ‘til I was thirteen (it’s definitely got something to do with the door).

What finally convinced me was taking a look at the many conversations I had over last week. Here are a few of them:

            “At one point in life, I even considered drugs…”
“Drugs? You don’t even know about drugs!” says Hasan in an exasperated tone.
“Sure I do.”
 “Oh yeah? Name one!”
“Ok. Pepsi.”

·        “I wanna become a lawyer when I grow up.”
“But you’re already in med school!” cries Sherzad.
“Which is why I said, ‘When I grow up’. Gosh, do you even listen to what I say?”

·        “What now?” says Khushhal.
“Wow, how’d you know?”
“You’ve got that stupid look again, the one you get when you’re racking your little brain real hard.”
“How do you know I only get that look when I’m thinking?”
*shrugs* “Well, you don’t do that very often.”

·         “You see, Kal-El is Jor-El’s son. The Kents are Superman’s foster parents. They’re not exactly related,” explains Saad.
“So Zod is Superman’s DAD?!”
“Seriously, man? Is that what you got from all this?”

·        Zainab texts: I hate guys. I don’t ever want to marry a guy!
I reply: Yeah, me too. Which is why I’m gonna marry a girl.

·        While playing DOTA (Defense Of The Ancients):
“Hah! He just stood there while the other team ganked him. Whattay noob!”
“Dude, I think that was your guy,” Says Khushhal.
“Impossible! I’m that flying donkey headed back for base.”
“That’s the Courier!”

It’s a miracle I made it through school. I finally believe people like Forrest Gump can exist in real life. :D

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NH