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I never had a dream. Whenever someone'd ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd laugh. Somehow, the idea of me growing up seemed hilarious. It still is. So I had no clue how to answer that question. With the laugh, I intended to tell whoever was asking that I'm too daft for intellectual grown-up chit-chat. I guess I got that across quite well. 'Cause almost always, the next question would be something about the weather or some TV show. And when even that turned out to be too much for me, the conversation finally stooped to topics of my interest. I'd take great pleasure in telling them about the black cat that loves decorating our lawn with its poop. I'd also throw in some interesting facts about cats, e.g. a cat can tell its waste apart from another's. The perfect dinner conversation. I have them so riveted they forget to eat the food in front of them. My parents don't seem to like it though. I guess it's because then there are too many leftovers to fit in the fridge.
Frankly, I never believed I'd make it this far. What with the ever increasing crime rate, rise in terrorist attacks, the country riding down the Laffer Curve, shrinking job opportunities... I figured my chances were quite slim. Plus I'd stopped going to this martial arts school, so I half-expected waking up in the middle of the night to find an assassin holding a blade to my throat. In my head, that school was Nanda Parbatt and the League of Assassins was after me. It took me two years to realize they had their hands full with Batman and Green Arrow to be bothered about small fry like me. Still, I sleep with a butter knife under my pillow, just in case. I dunno why I bother at all. It's too blunt to cause major damage and I'm quite sure the assassins' won't let me off if I made them all buttered toast. Though if I made grilled cheese sandwiches.... I could convince them. My grilled cheese sandwiches are phenomenal. A bite is enough to kill anyone stupid or hungry enough to eat it. My dad uses my sandwiches as rat kill. I'm thinking about patenting it.
I guess not having a dream isn't that bad. Infact, I get to make it up as I go along. Plus, I think I'm pretty much done with all I wanted to do in life. Scratch that. I find new stuff to do everyday. Life really is, like Forrest Gump puts it, "a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." I just prefer living it rather than dreaming about it. ;)
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-NH
